Tiger, Tiger, Tiger

By Gary A. Johnson

Let me start by saying that I am sick of the Tiger Woods story.  Given all that’s going on in the world, this should not be a news story, but it is.  I actually have the fortitude to ignore this story, but I have not committed myself to doing so.  It’s like when Bobby Brown had his reality show on the Bravo network.  “Being Bobby Brown” with guest appearances by his then wife Whitney Houston was a train wreck of a TV show, but I could not turn away.

So I am turning myself in.  Guilty as charged.  When I hear a news story about Tiger Woods, I admit that I stop what I’m doing and listen.  What are you shaking your head for?  You’re not much better because you reading this commentary.

Tiger Woods, golf’s “golden boy” is really caught up.  A lack of “player skills” coupled with poor advice from his management team has guaranteed Tiger will get a lump of coal in his stocking for Christmas to match the size of the reported lump on his head.  I am no choir boy by any stretch of the imagination, nor do I claim the moral high-ground on celebrity indiscretions.  I am just another “media guy” doing some “Monday morning quarterbacking” at the expense of the tainted golf legend.

The same media who elevated him to icon status appears all too happy to tear him down.  For what it’s worth, I believe Tiger’s circle of married friends are “sucking up the seat cushions” in their chairs with each passing day that this mess goes on and trust me, I think there’s a lot more to come.  “Wait!  Shhhh.  Did you hear that?  What was that?” That’s Tiger’s golfing buddies and friends crossing their fingers and hoping that their name doesn’t pop up on the Internet as being connected with this scandal.  A lot of folks are losing sleep.

The only guy who is sleeping like a baby is Derek Jeter. His sleep number is at an all time high.  I bet Jeter wakes up invigorated and refreshed.  He doesn’t have to worry about the stress of having to remember multiple stories and lies that involve his wife and friends because Derek Jeter is NOT MARRIED!

Now there’s a novel idea.  If you want to sleep with multiple women around the world and you don’t want other people to know about this, don’t get married or at least learn how to play the game.  When you are a married man whose earning potential exceeds $1 billion dollars and you sleep with cocktail waitresses, bar maids and socialites the stakes are automatically high.  Experienced players tend not to play with women who don’t have as much to lose as they do.  Nothing against cocktail waitresses, bar maids and socialites.  Most of them are fine people who have to work hard for the money.

The evidence is mounting that Tiger, in his rush to get his “freak on” was clueless, careless and reckless–and that’s just what we know this week.  Who knows what the next 10 day news cycle will bring?

Tiger, enough with these carefully prepared statements released on your web site.  Dude, you are going to have to show your face.  I imagine the reason you have not shown your face is because your wife “did a number” on your ass.  You should be commended for walking (or driving) away from a domestic squabble or fight.  Then again, had you stayed and tried to defend yourself, your wife, Elin may have stretched your ass out in the foyer like Danny Green did to Roy Jones, Jr., earlier this week. Sorry Roy, but it’s time to hang up the gloves and quit.

Elin’s actions seem to have broken the stereotype that white women who date or marry men of color, especially black men are passive and tolerate just about anything.  I don’t think so.  Recent media reports and statements from the neighbors lead me to believe that Tiger’s injuries had nothing to do with the auto accident and everything to do with Elin having taken out a can of “whup ass” when she caught Tiger texting one of his “jump offs” on Thanksgiving night.  Tiger was found at approximately 2:30 am laying on the ground with a messed up face, no shoes and snoring.  Elin wasn’t taking any shit that night.

There’s a sentence in a report on the Examiner.com web site that reads as follows:

“According to a friend of one of Tiger Woods’s mistresses, the reason that Tiger Woods cheated on his beautiful Swedish model wife was a complete lack of sex at home.”

Am I the only one who thinks Tiger’s wife is just barely OK? Every report that I’ve read describes her as beautiful, gorgeous, stunning, attractive, etc. I don’t see it. Looking at Elin reminds me of an old “Seinfeld” episode where Jerry’s girlfriend looked like a stunning beauty when standing in the light a certain way.  One slight turn and the same woman looked like a hag, I mean a real wicked witch.

I will be the first one to tell you that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.  A person can be a “5” on the outside and rank as a “10+” on the inside.  If given a choice, I’ll take the “10+” on the inside every time.  Some of these so-called “dime piece” women are breathtakingly beautiful, but come with so many issues that they are not worth being with.  Many can’t construct two sentences together while others have made multiple appearances on “Maury.” All of this spells DRAMA!

The research I’ve read reflects that the motives behind someone who cheats is not always based on sex.  I believe that.  Hang with me here.  I am not saying that sex is not a factor, but I believe that sex is not the “driving force” (no pun intended) in the majority of cases.  I think cheating has more to do with an emotional intoxication and connection between two people.  One person makes the other feel special in a way that no one else can.  Think about it.  Tiger Woods has proven that he can get sex.  I bet if you injected Tiger with “truth serum” he would tell you that his “indiscretions” have less to do with sex and more to do with a lack of a connection in his relationship with his wife due their inability to communicate.

I wish I could say with certainty that this story will go away.  I can’t do it.  I actually think the story will get worse for Tiger and become more salacious as a wider circle of celebrities get dragged into this mess due to Tiger’s inability to “play the game.”  As Allen Iverson famously said, “We talkin’ bout practice!”  In this case, there’s something to be said about practice.  The lack of “experience” and “practice” will prove to be very costly for Mr. Woods on many levels when this matter comes to an end.

Good night Derek.  Sleep tight, (you lucky bastard)!

Gary Johnson is the Founder & Publisher of Black Men In America.com a popular online magazine on the Internet and the Black Men In America.com Blog. Gary is also the author of the new book“25 Things That Really Matter In Life.”


One Response to “Tiger, Tiger, Tiger”

  1. Gary,

    I am so proud of what President Obama has done and is trying to do to help all Americans. I see in him what the future of the American dream can be, in terms of helping the disenfranchised obtain quality health care, and by assisting our brothers and sisters with getting a world class education. I fully support President Obama, and look, with hope, to future strides when the black and white race can blend in this country.

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