We Failed Us First


Darryl James

By Darryl James

Not only am I not surprised at the Zimmerman verdict, but I’m kinda numb instead of being angry at the racists in the system for doing what racists do. This nation is full of seething, ignorant, hateful racist people who openly hate Black people.

But I can’t be surprised, because I never stopped realizing it.

And I can’t be all that angry at racist dogs for acting like racist dogs.

I am, however angry at all the stupid Black people for acting like they have some righteous indignation, when really, the chickens are coming home to roost.

Yes, the chickens are coming home to roost for Black people in America, because being crapped on openly is the wages of failing to protect ourselves.

Particularly when we fight so hard for others.

While we dedicated our energy to the cause of gay marriage, we failed to protect ourselves.

While we cried tears of angst and fought for illegal immigrants (many of whom hate our damned guts), we failed to protect ourselves.

While we lied about there being more Black men in prison than in college, we failed to protect ourselves in prison or in college.

While self-hating Black men pretended  that all Black women are the same as the ones who hurt them and so advocate for dating women other than Black women, we failed to protect ourselves.

While Black men refused to hunt down and beat the crap out of Black men who abandon children, harm women or children, or walk around with their filthy drawers showing, we failed to protect ourselves.

While Black women pretended that Black people have the luxury of solely blaming Black men for abandoning children that Black women knowingly made with poor excuses for men who fail to protect anyone, we failed to protect ourselves.

And, while many of those same Black women go on television and in any given magazine to tell the world that Black men don’t love them anymore and that dating white men is their only solution, while they, in doing so, no longer love Black men, we failed to protect ourselves.

While dead-brained knee-grows found some detached justice in watching Michael Vick get sent to prison for dog fighting or cheered ignorantly watching Wesley Snipes get sent to prison for tax evasion, we failed to protect ourselves.

While we allowed stupid, selfish, frightened little men and women to “lead” us into nowhere and nothing good, we failed to protect ourselves.

While we failed to build a powerful, financially viable coalition to force our first Black president to attend to our needs the way powerful, financially viable coalitions forced him to attend to their needs, thinking that he would do something for us simply because he has Black skin, we failed to protect ourselves.

While we lied about the reasons young Black men are shooting each other in the streets of Chicago because we are afraid to get in those same streets and understand, we failed to protect ourselves.

While we proclaimed some kind of sick glory in Tyler Perry wearing a dress, or twisted beauty in films that show us as beasts (even when they are made by us), or films that show us as “The Help,” or in clown ass knee-grows dancing, because “at least they are making money,” we failed to protect ourselves.

While the dumbest of us argue over the word Nigger and how some fake ass “revolution” was witnessed in “changing the meaning of the word,” we failed to protect ourselves.

While we lovingly supported dumb ass comedians and ignorant ass rappers who make a living downgrading us for jokes and rhymes, we failed to protect ourselves.

While we get no justice because America and the world over knows, WE FAIL TO PROTECT OURSELVES.

I grew up in the hood, where, like any other predatory grounds of violence and mayhem, the prey are those who have no protection.

And everyone knows that we protect anyone BUT ourselves.

So, why would a racist system protect us?

And, why would we be surprised?

As the father of a young Black boy who has to grow up in a nation where stupid ass knee-grows failed to protect themselves, the question is: “What will I do?”

My answer remains the same: “I will protect my own.”

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