The Selfishness of the Sexes

By Mike Ramey

Her name was Gomer. His name was Hosea. Gomer was a party girl who eventually became Hosea’s wife–but she had an agenda. She still loved the night life even AFTER she got married, had several kids and made Hosea into the world’s first ‘househusband’. To make a long story short, Hosea had to serve God, run his household alone AND keep bailing his wayward wife out of trouble. Sadly, Gomer’s selfish ways caught up with her, as she discovered a very valuable lesson: the streets and the people in them don’t ‘love you’ when you get old, broke, and broke down. Hosea spotted his wife at a slave auction, paid the price asked for her, and brought her home to her kids.

I thought about that Bible story while surfing the web recently. The Internet is certainly loaded with blogs, with the most unrealistic offenders being (drum roll please) the ‘relationship’ blogs. What makes many of them sad reading is the phrase ‘battle of the sexes’…and it is usually shouted from the web by the female of the species.

Of course, in our modern times, if Gomer had her own blog, she would be ‘chewing out’ Hosea for ‘not’ giving her the right to live as she wanted to (even though she was a married woman); demand he financially subsidize her abandonment of the children that she wanted AND birthed (child support/crazy check, please), and ‘thumbs downed’ the notion that her home and marriage were more important than her ‘career’ as a social butterfly and part-time ‘party girl’.

One would think that Gomer would learn from her self-destructive selfishness.

But wait; she’s not died. She’s modernized–AND multiplied.

SELFISHNESS–A SURE FIRE RELATIONSHIP KILLER:

One old saying about marriage is worth remembering. Women tend to marry TO change their husbands; Men tend to marry NOT TO change their wives. In short, both–IF they aren’t careful–will enter a marriage or relationship for selfish motives.

Marriages with any other agenda than ‘becoming one’ never last.

Why is selfishness such a ‘deal killer’ in a relationship?

Because it is easier to claim ‘victim status’ rather than to change behavior.

Adults like to chide teenagers for having unrealistic views of relationships, fueled by modern music and the entertainment kabal. Well, IF we were honest, many adults love to ‘hang on’ to unrealistic views as well, fueled by nostalgia and selfishness.

Here is the unwritten secret of eternal youth, in a nutshell.

It’s ‘cool’ to be a victim.

Right now, I’ll bet that there are more than a few people who have done a ‘spit take’ into their Iphone or Ipad. Here me out, as I say it again. It’s ‘cool’ to be a victim.

There are some men and women who enjoy ‘rehash hash’ for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even after their BFFs have heard their tale of woe for the umpteenth time.

The relationship is over; they have their ‘freedom’, and their ‘no-good’ ex is GONE! The ‘victim’ belt is theirs…by a technical–walkout!

FREEDOM–WITH A SELFISH ‘CATCH’:

Being a Christian (and not just playing one), I have a tendency to LISTEN to older folk–especially Christians–who have fought the battles of life and come up with the scars AND victories. I’ll never forget the sage advice of one veteran pastor from years ago: “You can LOSE what you GOT by trying to GET what you ALREADY have.” Clearly broken down for Generation Y, the Millennials and the ‘Disney Generation’; if you KNOW yourself to be a selfish person, you’re going to have to change you BEFORE you are ready to meet someone to be WITH you…OR you will eventually LOSE them.

Selfishness between the sexes has reached an all time high. There IS no such thing as a battle between the sexes; but the air abounds with selfishness!

Me-me-me; My-my-my; do it MY way, or say–Bye–Bye–Bye!

THEN folk get shocked that their ‘love for a lifetime’ decides to hit the door, because they have discovered that they are no longer needed in a relationship where one person is selfishly in love–with themselves!

Just how bad is it out there in relationship land? I recently read that psychologists and psychiatrists, because of the dearth of common sense shown by many of their patients, have taken to ‘administering’ tough love therapy sessions, just to keep their OWN sanity! They listen to the stories, then tell their patients the truth about their selfish behavior and self-destructive morals. In short, since the ‘psycho meds’ are NOW in short supply, the shrinks have discovered that a dose of the truth can do what medication has been unable to do.

Can I get an AMEN for the truth?

SOCIAL ROLLER DERBY–BUT AT HOME ALONE:

The legal system is not immune to the problems caused by selfishness. Courtrooms have become crammed with ‘exes’ of either sex, who like to use the courts as a kind of ‘roller derby’ to order resurrections in graveyards littered with the corpses of destroyed marriages caused by agendas based on selfishness. Family court judges fear the months of November and December as ‘emergency’ hearings spring up like so many blades of grass. Lawyers for custodial and non-custodial parents wrangle over everything from an extra day’s worth of visitation, to an extra five dollars in child support because one parent ‘heard’ or ‘had the kids research’ the other parent’s FB profile or web activity. The selfish who ‘train’ their kids against another parent eventually loses that parent outright, and their kids over the course of time.

God don’t like ugly, and ain’t too thrilled with pretty.

The selfish can ‘snag’ a book deal, a magazine cover, or a talk show. Never mind the fact that your ‘supporters’ are shielding themselves (and their relationships) from your venom. The selfish are sought out by the bitter–who fuel the 24/7 news cycle and cash registers of our modern era. The selfish can create ‘new’ words and phrases–or change the meaning of existing ones such as ‘bullying’ or ‘my career is more important’. The selfish strut into church, read the Bible, and sing all the gospel hits. Church splits and pastoral vacancies abound because the selfish in the pew would rather sing, “I Did It MY Way” rather than “Oh, Lord…I Want You To Help Me.”

If you view your relationship as ‘only’ all about you–and you enjoy it–take heart!

You’ll be alone…soon enough!

RAMEY, a syndicated columnist and book reviewer, lives in Indianapolis, Indiana. THE RAMEY COMMENTARIES appears on fine websites/blogs around the world. Email manhoodline@yahoo.com. © 2012 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.

 

 

The Bridge: Obama, Race & Politics

By Darryl James

Some people still don’t get it.

But anyone with eyes, ears and a working brain knows that President Barack Obama has brought out all the racism in America that many people lied about. Many people lied about racism being on the decline and how Obama’s election ushered in a “post racial society.”

But to the contrary, his election has ushered in a neo-racial society, meaning that racism has reared its ugly head in the forefront of our society once again, because some factions of America are filled with venom and ignorance, as opposed to a true love for this nation.

We see it with the death threats against the president, the filthy little white woman who shook her finger in the president’s face and all of the overt messages of hatred that the ignorant can no longer hide.

I said it during the presidential campaign and I said it when Barack Obama was elected.

His election will be used to polarize a nation, rather than unite it.

And it has been.

Although many Americans are smarter and more open minded than the nation used to contain, there are still pockets of racism that will hold on with tooth and nail to a world they are comfortable with.

That world is a world where Blacks and whites are bifurcated in language, culture and living quarters.

And it’s both good and bad.

It’s good because Obama’s existence is forcing racism to be played out in the most public manner possible on the world stage.

It’s bad because all of the venom held by the confused angry racists has finally boiled to the surface.

And it’s hurting the image of America on the world stage. The entire world can see that America is still very much focused on race and racism. No matter who denies it or pretends that it isn’t a major issue.

Most of the anger stems from the same place that always provides anger—the pain of lower and middle class white America.

The recession that launched under George Bush’s watch hit the nation hard, but was taken more to heart by whites than any other group. This group traditionally holds the belief that they are more American than anyone else, and accordingly, should benefit more and suffer less.

Unfortunately for them, the recession did not discriminate and ravaged communities all across racial lines. That ravaging left many whites angry, feeling desperate and looking for someone to blame.

And we know who they look for to point fingers at.

Ushered into the White House on a tide of desired change that followed change in society, particularly the nation’s demographics, Obama is now the icon for change, and for many angry, frightened whites, the icon for all that is wrong.

His iconic existence facilitates the anger of those angry whites who ignored the eight years of wanton warfare and economic depravity waged by George W and focus on the rapid changes sought by the nation’s first Black president.

Those of us who paid attention and who have working brains understood the schism between the young progressive whites who supported change and the backwoods redneck dirt farmers who refuse to move beyond outdated ideas of Black people, inflamed by the rich, white demons who hate Blacks, but who also hate poor people, which includes those dumb ass white racists on the bottom of society.

The political lies employed by the right wing crazies place the blame for all things wrong in the world on President Obama, ignoring what began on the previous president’s watch.

And where were these people when Bush was grinding the nation and the world economy into the ground?

Curiously silent.

From what I can see, race and racism are in the forefront like never before.

While the first African American President represents change, he also represents everything that is wrong and ugly about America.

He represents change because a great deal of people of all colors had to come together to get him elected. Frankly, many of us never thought we would see the day.

But he also represents everything wrong and ugly, because stupid Americans have begun to raise him as a scapegoat for all that has gone awry, using his image to fill the rosters of hate groups and hateful racist activities, while claiming that there is no more racism, because of his election.

As for the Blacks who are raging against Obama, they are no different than the bonehead Negroes who opposed Dr. King and who supported Reagan and both Bushes.

Even the self hating ignoramus Negroes come out of the woodwork in order to disagree with things that don’t exist.

The strongest taboo in America is to admit to racism. America has spent more than forty years denying that the vestiges of racism have a strong toehold on pockets of the nation.

But what else would explain the upsurge in hate groups and the sudden widespread interest by older whites in the minutia of national policy?

It’s like watching a sporting event where one team scores, yet the announcer says that the other team is playing hard and leading the game.

We saw this with the beating of Rodney King, where an entire nation and a jury refused to see the beating of a Black man by a group of white men.

But this November, a clear message will be sent to the entire nation and to the entire world:  America is NOT post-racial and the American people who desire to see the nation progress, or at least not falter will come together to send the racist, ignorant ratbrains out of business.

At least out of the White House.

Darryl James is an award-winning author of the powerful new anthology “Notes From The Edge.”  James’ stage play, “Love In A Day,” opened in Los Angeles in 2011 and will become a feature film in 2012. View previous installments of this column at http://www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at djames@theblackgendergap.com.

The Legendary “Uptown Janice Brown’s” Greatest Roles – Mother and Friend

By Harold Bell

I checked Google, Twitter and Facebook, the social media vehicles for the world.  I was looking for all the articles and comments on the Internet as it related to the life and times of the late Janice Brown aka “Uptown Janice Brown.”

I just discovered my friend had died in Washington, DC on August 20, 2012.  She was just 55 years old. The most accurate account written about Janice was found in a small newspaper published in North Carolina called the “Bald Head Island.”  The first paragraph described her right on point “Janice Lee Frink Brown affectionately known as “Jan,” was a selfless, loving mother, daughter, sister, aunt, teacher and friend, impacting countless lives.  She loved much and lived life to its fullest.”

The accounts of her life written by the local know it all yokels in Washington, DC described her as a “much-loved jazz vocalist in the DMV (District/Maryland/Virginia), known for her wit and warmth as well as her exceptional timing.  She was a regular performer at Monday Night Jazz at Vicino’s Restaurant in Silver Spring, MD., and a fixture on the annual Mid-Atlantic Jazz Festival. She also released a CD, “Two Shades of Brown.”

Janice was also a respected journalist, serving for many years as a reporter and editor for the Washington Afro-American newspaper. But she was probably better known for her efforts as a broadcaster:  Janice was a veteran radio personality, including a long stint as an on-air staffer for WPFW-FM radio; in addition, she taught public speaking and broadcasting at the University of the District of Columbia (where she also took classes in the Jazz Studies program). She held a Master’s degree in communications from American University.

There was much more to JB than being a vocalist, dancer, comedian, radio and television reporter, editor and a slave to fashion.  Her most important accomplishments were as a mother and friend.

I remember JB or “Little Bits” as I called her when she was just a cute little bag of bones.  WUST radio was her first media gig.  WUST was the gospel voice of radio in the 60s, 70s and 80s.   It was gospel radio legend Lou Hankins who gave JB her first break.  He became her mentor, Big Brother and lifetime friend.

History should record her foundation for success was first laid at the front door of WUST radio.  Years after the doors of WUST closed Lou and JB stayed in touch.  They were in constant contact until she told him she was going home to beat a cough she had developed—shortly after that conversation she died of lung cancer.

When I met JB at WUST in 1980 I was already a well known sports talk show and community personality.  I had just been named Washingtonian of the Year by Washingtonian Magazine.  She would always tease me each morning after her traffic report by opening the studio door and saying “Good morning legend” and crack up laughing.

JB would always remind me, she was also someday going to be a legend.  My response would be “Only in your mind.”  Her sense of humor kept us laughing.   JB’s never say die spirit and her smile made the station a great place to work.

On her way to becoming a legend she took time out to make sure her number one priority was her daughter Whitney. She wanted to make sure Whitney had an opportunity to grow up to share the America Dream of being somebody.  JB was a single parent, and against all odds the struggles sometimes would become overbearing.  The hard times made her more determine and she hung tuff, thanks to Lou and the WUST radio family who was always there for her.  The family consisted of Jay Marie Morris, Reggie Hales, Wendell Henderson, Ralph Colbert, Levi Conley, Carl DeShazio and I.  We were family in every sense of the word.

Despite the tough times her focus remained on little Whitney and making sure she was always on the right track of life.  JB’s warrior mentality paid off in spades.  Her legacy is in good hands, Whitney is a graduate of the Duke Ellington School of the Arts in DC.  She is an accomplished dancer and teacher (Debbie Allen School of Dance).  She has appeared in movies with Martin Lawrence, (Big Mamma’s House 2) and with Queen Latifah (Hair Spray).  Whitney recently returned from a stint with the Broadway Musical cast “Memphis.”  This proves the theory that an apple does not fall too far from the tree.

My last encounter with JB was in 2010 when her friend Dr. Carl DeShazio (former co-worker at WUST) called and asked me to help them coordinate and in-school event “The Michelle Obama Fight against Childhood Obesity.”   The event was being held at Amidon Elementary school in southwest Washington, DC.  Legendary boxing champion Roy Jones was the guest speaker.

When JB saw me the first words out of her mouth was “The legend” and my response was ‘You waited to get old to get fat.’  We both burst out laughing.

I will never forget when the late NBC TV 4 sportscaster George Michael (The Sports Machine) called the radio station wanting to speak with me while I was preparing for the evening broadcast.  Janice brought the message from Lou for me to pick up the telephone.

George was pissed off because I had singled him out in a Washington Post story relating to sportscasters covering the Washington Redskins; I had called him the town’s biggest cheerleader.

When I had finished, I called George every name but a child of God and hung up the telephone.  Janice peeped through the door and said, “Calm down legend,”and walked away laughing.

Janice Lee Frink Brown was always good for a laugh.  She was a rare lady—she could laugh at herself!  Heaven and God’s Angels have just been blessed with the complete entertainer (move over Sammy Davis, Jr.).

JB, you believed that you could fly and fly you did throughout the Washington, DC metro area for over 30 years.  Some people are legends in their own mind and others are legends in their own time, you are truly a legend in your own time.  RIP my friend.

There will be a final goodbye to Janice Lee Frink Brown on Saturday October 13, 2012 with a memorial service in her honor at the Duke Ellington School of the Arts from 7 pm until 9 pm.

The Bridge: Living In Fear, 2012

By Darryl James

“America is filled with terror from North to South and we thank God.”

-Osama bin Laden

“Either you are with us, or with the terrorists.”

-George Bush

America is supposed to be the greatest nation on earth. Its citizens are supposed to live better than any other nation.

But that just isn’t true. And it hasn’t been true for most Americans for a very long time.

America has been creating a great divide between the “haves,” which are secure, comfortable and ensconced in the American promise of wealth; and the “have nots,” which are insecure, uncomfortable and constantly in fear.

In 2001, that fear was shared with the entire nation, when the nation was attacked and filled with terror.

Flash forward eleven years and while our president hunted down and killed the man thought responsible for the nation’s terror, the citizens still live in fear.

Some citizens live in fear of the never-dissipating threat of terror, which may never leave America.

Some citizens fear the terror from within the borders of America, in the form of constant economic turmoil.

And some citizens fear nothing more than a Black president.

When dimwitted George Bush hunted down and killed Saddam Hussein, the nation gave him credit for taking down a major figure in the reign of terror. Yet, when President Barack Obama hunted down and killed the main figure, Osama bin Laden, many dimwitted Americas want to do anything but give him credit.

Their ultimate fear? Four more years of a Black president.

And these dumb ass Americans are so racist, vile and stupid that they allow their fear to stand stronger than reason, and so pretend away any good the current president has done in favor of continuing to view him in a negative light.

These ignorant bags of crap are willing to pretend that Sarah Palin has a brain, that Mitt Romney has a soul, or that the Rethuglican party has a heart.

And, frankly, I fear the collective stupidity, carelessness and anti-patriotism found in the clownish antics of the Rethuglicans and their closet racist friends the Tea Party.

I fear them because they are ushering the age of racism back to the forefront of America, threatening to blind any real pursuit of American ideals with the wasted, ugly rhetoric of race.

But mostly I fear them because other Americans are actually taking them seriously.

Taking these ignorant, hateful fools seriously would mean jeopardizing an already tenuous economy by providing tax breaks to the rich and taking benefits from the poor.

It would also mean an upheaval in the world economy with a focus on greed and the preservation of the rich and greedy.

It would mean a return to lashing out at any voice that is divergent from the leadership of this nation.

So, in this, an election year, we can focus on the terror from outside of America, or we can focus on the terror within.

I choose to focus primarily on the terror within America, because when someone is in the house, they are better able to wreak havoc on the security than someone outside seeking to tamper with the relative safety and comfort that America could once again enjoy.

Anyone who is awake and aware realizes that we should be as frightened of what could come from abroad as what could come from having an idiot like Romney in the White House, who would just push for more global business opportunities for his friends.

And, any of us who are humanitarian should be frightened that following the national tragedy, many Americans had all but forgotten the pre-existing tragedies like the homeless, the poor and the starving–the huddled masses yearning to be free.

If we are not careful, we will virtually assure that American can never again go back to living in relative fearlessness about violence visiting our shores.

America is a nation of many races, and because it has crushed, killed and destroyed many other peoples along the way to creating your “way of life,” the nation had better take care not to place someone in the white house who does not have a heart for the masses.

Mitt Romney does not.

Immediately following the tragic events of September 11, 2001, I wrote about how sad it was to see an entire nation living in fear.  I wrote about how sad it was that so many people in this nation were so afraid that they were willingly giving up their freedom and all rights to individual thought.

Some Stupid Ass Americans were so frightened that in their fear and ignorance, they began lashing out at other Americans of Arabic descent or of Islamic faith.

Eleven years later, we see the same fear, ignorance and willingness to give up freedoms entrenched in the people of this country as much as any other portion of American life.

We are about as safe as we ever were, which means that we really aren’t.  But there are ways that we can make this nation and accordingly, the world, a bit safer.

We can reduce American corporate world greed, stop beating on other nations for oil and stop playing world police/bully.

There are also a few things that America should clean up at home first to make it a better nation and less of a hypocrite.

Like American racism, American greed and obfuscated American politics.

Then, perhaps it would make sense to police the world.

And then perhaps we wouldn’t have to live in fear.

 

The Bridge: The Influence of Man

By Darryl James

High School basketball star Tony Farmer stole his way into his ex-girlfriend’s apartment building where he beat and kicked the crap out of her. He took her belongings, berated her and attempted to drag her out of her building by her hair to do her further harm.

This was the beginning of the end of a promising basketball career.

This was also the center of yet another saga of a young Black man who was raised without the influence of men.

Were there men in his life? Possibly. But there was no central figure standing as father. And without that, Tony Farmer grew into a beast of a male, who, while still a teenager, held a festering rage within him that could have exploded at anyone it was aimed at.

Unfortunately, it was aimed at his ex-girlfriend.

This situation–both sides–makes it clear why Black Men must respond to the war on manhood that the nation initiated and that Black Women joined when they colluded with the system to remove the Black Man from the family and the community.

In some less destructive manner, this has always been around in white communities and others, but it is running rampant in our community because too many children are being raised not only without a father, but without the influence of men.

My point is not to blame that little girl, or even to castigate that animalistic BOY who beasted on her, but to blame our entire community of adults for not understanding the consequences of allowing women to raise children without the influence of men.

Leaving women to raise kids alone is the worst thing we could ever do and as a community, we should be fighting the system and yes, fighting against the women who seek to keep men out of the lives of kids. We should also kick the crap out of males who walk away without even trying to fight. White men are doing it and the system is changing. But we celebrate single mothers like being a mother on your own is some damned badge of honor.

It is not.

For every woman claiming that she can do it all alone, this is what that looks like. Tony Farmer is your “good little boy.”

The fact that people were pleading for Farmer–not based on any obfuscated facts of the case, or even on what remorse he may have had, but based on his potential basketball career–shows a growing depravity.

The young girl/victim allegedly had a father in the home, but apparently not much of one. She apparently broke up with Farmer because he had been abusive before. If she had a decent father, Farmer would have been in front of the judge for hitting her the first time—if not six feet under. And, she most definitely wouldn’t be pleading for leniency (along with her family), because she would understand the gravity of a man placing his hands on a defenseless woman who didn’t attack him.

While there have been comparisons galore, this is not the same as the Rhianna/Chris Brown case, except that two twisted children without the influence of men got caught up in a hot mess that changes and even ruins lives. They were both violent—he was just stronger.

Farmer is an out of control boy beast with no man in his life who could control him or teach him self-control.

While the Black community in his native Cleveland rallied to save Farmer, they FAILED to rally to his cause BEFORE he beat that girl. Instead of praising and lifting him up after he became a criminal, that same community of “saviors” should have been placing men in his life who could have influenced him, so that when his girlfriend broke up with him, he would have taken the man route and simply walked out of her life.

Instead, he walked into her apartment building and committed several crimes for which he will pay dearly.

“F” him and his basketball  career.

People can feel sorry for Farmer because his life has been diminished, but none of those who feel sorry even understand how much he was already diminished.

Eventually, he would have fallen anyway, growing up without the influence of man.

Farmer’s mother, Michele Farmer, said that her son was in love and had simply “made a bad decision.”

Yes, it was a bad decision, but so was the decision to raise him without the influence of man.

One day, we will pay attention to the studies showing how crucial a man’s influence is to a child’s development. Then, we will stop playing games, stop praising mediocrity and BS and we will garner men on every level of society to SHOW UP.

We don’t need another hero or martyr. We don’t need any movement that doesn’t involve Black men showing up and being present and consistent without obstruction.

I could quote any number of studies demonstrating the value of the influence of man.

Instead, I will quote the late Tupac Shakur, a broken man who realized that he would have been less broken with the influence of man: “I know for a fact that had I had a father, I’d have some discipline. I’d have more confidence. Your mother cannot calm you down the way a man can. Your mother can’t reassure you the way a man can. My mother couldn’t show me where my manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man.”

Our community needs the influence of man.

Darryl James is an award-winning author of the powerful new anthology “Notes From The Edge.”  James’ stage play, “Love In A Day,” opened in Los Angeles in 2011 and will become a feature film in 2012. View previous installments of this column at http://www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at djames@theblackgendergap.com.

The Bridge: Dirty Black Secrets, Part 4—The Dirtiest Secrets

By Darryl James

One of the dirtiest Black secrets of all is that Black people have kept themselves enslaved.

The enslavement has been perpetuated largely by pretending that there is no racism. But also by passing lies and mythology about ourselves.

Many Blacks think we are doing worse than we really are because of the lies they pass around about us.

Let’s start with the biggest lie of all—stupid knee grows love lying about how Africans the world over are lost because they were fighting before Europeans came to Africa.  Well, guess what, dumb ass knee grows? So were the Europeans!  Humans have been fighting since there were humans.  This is neither a reason nor an excuse for the predators to come into a continent and begin the world’s worst treatment of humans.

But, really, who hurts us more than the most vicious white racist?

We do.

We harm ourselves with our inability to police ourselves.

The worst behavior will be defended if the perpetrator is an athlete or entertainer.

One of our dirtiest Black secrets is that, sadly, many of us love being Niggers.

There is no ugly definition of us that many of us won’t be willing to aspire to, up to and including being Niggers—in all the ugly derisive lack of glory in the meaning of the word.

Where our public behavior was once of dignity, many of us now aspire to be as undignified as possible. Males (not men) walk around with their underwear showing, accenting their butts and females (not women) walk around with as much of their precious sexuality on display. Tattoos are on chests and breasts, backs and thighs and on necks and ears—not body art, but body dirt that inhibits job searches and other opportunities where basic dignity is required.

Males have gone soft, while females act hard and menacing, fighting in public like men used to do.

Many of us look like garbage and act like garbage—all the while referring to each other as “Nigger” in front of anyone who can hear. The stupidest, most destructive thing we ever did was to pretend that using that ugly word in public was some sort of “revolution.”

The word hasn’t changed, but unfortunately, we have.

And we love our Black Athletes and entertainers—especially when they are acting like Niggers.

It’s a problem that horse faced Jay-Z can talk about all the money he has but neither he nor his wife do much to create anything better for the kids who are coming up in the same neighborhoods they pushed themselves up off of to get out of.

The fact that no one has killed he and that other self-hating bitch Kanye West is a testament to our willingness to allow our talented filth to drag our image and standing through the world’s mud.

How dare these two self-destructive pieces of defecation make a recording called “Niggas in Paris,” which essentially tells the world that wherever they go, they are still Niggers? And how dare Nas threaten to slap people for being angry that a white actress couldn’t wait to tweet that she was with those Niggas in Paris and was therefore also a Nigga herself?

Another one of our dirtiest Black secrets is that we are the most beautiful people on the planet and everyone wants what we have, yet we want to alter everything about ourselves, from our lips and hips to hair and from our skin color to our eyes?

Secretly, we are not the only ones. Asians abhor the sun and the darkness it gives their skin, which is why they wear wraparound sun visors and walk with umbrellas in the sun. Whites risk sunburn and skin cancer every day just to get some color—any color—on their skin. Why? Because they hate themselves.

Yet, they have convinced us that we are to be hated and many of us line up for the hating. And we hate ourselves most when we pretend that we are something else.

Hispanics love to pretend away their African ancestry to focus on trying to be some “other” or even white. And sadly, many islanders love to pretend that they are anything other than African American. For example, Lisa Nicole Carson volunteered to the media that her pet peeve was being “mistaken” for African American. She clarified that she was a Jamaican from Canada. Um, yeah, but you look just like us…

Dead of brain and dead of soul, we act like we are all good because a few of us are financially good.

Who is really damaging us?

Our dirtiest secret the world over is that we have seen the enemy…and he/she is us.

Darryl James is an award-winning author of the powerful new anthology “Notes From The Edge.”  James’ stage play, “Love In A Day,” opened in Los Angeles in 2011 and will become a feature film in 2012. View previous installments of this column at http://www.bridgecolumn.proboards36.com. Reach James at djames@theblackgendergap.com.

Are You Keeping Up With New Technology?

By Cheryl Myrie

Today’s world is vastly incorporated with the ever changing science of technology.

If you are not engaged in the area of technology you are out dating yourself and you are putting yourself at a disadvantage in being a competing candidate for employment, limiting your method to communicate and you are decreasing your perimeters in which you can operate.

In shadows of the court decision against Samsung, in the case of Apple vs. Samsung, it’s important to understand the direction this country and the global industry is headed, if we are interested in becoming economically empowered. Barry White one of my all-time favorite singers, gave great insight to those who were listening during a televised interview I was blessed to watch. I don’t remember the host or the show where the interview took place, perhaps someone who does know could provide us with the details by way of the comment box at the end of this commentary.  What Barry White said basically, was that anyone interested in getting into the music business, during the time period the interview had taken place, he said the opportunity had greatly improved due to technology. The new technology had introduced new electronic instruments, which also provided access to more than one instrument.  One individual could add the sound of different instruments, this was cost effective and enhanced the ability of someone starting out on their own and who did not have the connections necessary to incorporate other individuals with skills and knowledge of varies musical instruments. God bless his soul, that was a jewel of information he gave to those seeking to make a living by getting into the music industry.

Well the same hold true even more today. Yes socially many of us are heavily engaged in the technology world. And I am not saying there is anything wrong with the social interaction side of it. What I am saying is do not limit yourselves to just that side of it. I remember after getting married and having my children, I was seeking to get into the work force arena, and my siblings who were already there were telling me about the emphasis on computers and how simply it would be for me once I got the hang of it. However, I was hesitant about the hold thing, it sounded more complicated than they were making it appear. Anyway it would be some years later before I took a computer class and I have been hooked ever since. It was extra hard for me because I did not have a computer at home. So I spent hours in the computer lab on campus. I would see people come in and an hour or two later they would be leaving and I would still be there trying to complete my assignments. This went on for days until I completed my course and I passed with an A. I am grateful to my teacher for being the kind of teacher that wanted his students to learn.

Certainly these new instruments of technology have their side effects and/or downsides, which if you take a broader perspective is another avenue which could provide access to revenue, in the field of research. We as a society are now asking questions about proper use of our newly invented tools and the advent affect caused by misuse of them.